‘Crisis’ was taken during a very difficult time in my relationship with my husband, Eran.
It was photography that allowed me to be able to step away, to see what was going on, even what is about to happen. The fact that Eran let me take those pictures, in the middle of these difficult situations, in a way, reconnected me to him. And at times he used my pictures to tell me what he couldn’t say.
I was surprised by the fact that I was taking pictures, that I needed so much to make pictures, that I was pushing my own limits, I wanted to do this. I wanted to look at us and at times, it was the only way to see. I wanted to be able to see the beauty in those painful moments, to create, to feel myself and who I am because everything else felt like total chaos and out of control.
I felt the need to title those images in a more specific way then I did with my work in the past, giving more information. Some situations became charged just by a little piece of information. With a few words, a documented moment was charged, making it possible to see more of what is in it, just by pointing out ‘this is what it is about’.
During the same period of time I had also dealt with severe back pain, I made a series of self-portraits, describing my pain and the different treatments I went through, I titled this series ‘pain’. Having this pain was also one of the catalysts for the marriage crisis to happen, so for me these two bodies of work are connected.
The physical pain and the emotional pain came to an end around the same time. I learned a lot during that time, and the photographs function not only as a memory but also as a reminder of what can crawl into life so quietly and have such a massive effect, because it was all there, in the photographs, sometimes even before I knew it.
Elinor Carucci is an Israeli-born photographer who lives and works in New York City. She received her BFA from Bezalel Academy in 1995 but began experimenting with photography when she was 15 years old. Carucci has been exhibited widely, with solo shows at several international venues including: the Hafia Museum of Contemporary Art, Israel; The Photographers’ Gallery, London and Fotographie Forum, Frankfurt. Her photographs are included in public collections such as The Museum of Modern Art, Brooklyn Museum of Arts, International Center of Photography, The Jewish Museum and the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. Carucci is a recipient of numerous awards including the ICP Infinity Award (2001), and a Guggenheim Fellowship (2002). Publications include, Closer, Chronicle Books 2002 and Diary of a Dancer, SteidlMack (2005). website.